Good bye Thailand

Phuket

Arriving in Phuket turned out to be a pain in the ass, as my friends, who were supposed to pick me up at the airport had an old picture from me, and before Phuket I never met them in person. They passed me several times not recognising me due to my changed appearance. I took it as a compliment somehow. Eventually I walked up to a lost looking man, who could be Austrian and Bingo- it was Josef, who gave me shelter for some days in Phuket, at Patong Beach. I want to take the chance and say thank you very much again for some great experiences in Phuket. Patong Beach is a part of Phuket Island, which is pretty much conquered by Swedish and Austrian people. One can easily live from nothing else than Austrian food there, in great variety. I managed to eat Wiener Schnitzel in an Austrian Restaurant in Thailand and making it a cultural experience, because I took Annie there to show her what Austrian food is like.
One night I been to the main nightclub area of Patong Beach called Banglaa. Now I always say, that not having been there would mean that I wouldn’t have made a travel around the world. After my experiences in other clubs of Thailand it was a very welcome change to know that the girls in those clubs were actually female. First I tried to get into the club, which is a pretty hard job because you are held back by at least five Thai girls on each arm, who try to convince you of their abilities as waitresses or similar. Drinking a beer in the club is hard too because you have to hold your beer in one hand and simultaneously defend yourself from the hookers, who grab everything (loose) on your body. Getting out of there is the same story as getting in.

One evening I met a girl, whose name was Joy, of course, as the names of all those girls are either Joy, Love or Nana. After clarifying that I will not take her home we had a very relaxing conversation about Phuket and its people. She told me that she, at the age of 30, is already mother of two kids, a boy and a girl at the age of 4 and 8. Her husband used to work as a builder and violence in the family was a common thing. Eventually she got divorced and ended up in one of Thailands numerous bars.

Still being aware of my mission to fixing computer for bed and breakfast I fixed some troubles of my friends laptops in Phuket. I’m very glad every time I can make myself useful, when staying at a place.

A toilet story

From former stories the frequent reader might already know that some things are pretty different in Thailand than elsewhere. Especially when going out to night clubs or bars one can experience legendary and quite disturbing things at the same time. One incident will stay in my mind for quite a while as it was the first time this happened to me and I was unprepared and literally caught with my pants down. Here is what happened. Partying in night clubs is a common thing in Thailand as everywhere in the world. But as I mentioned before some things are different here, and now I’m not talking about the third gender existing in the kingdom. Drinking beer and dancing made me quite tired that night and I had to follow natures call soon. On my way to the bathroom I was relaxed and in a good mood. Entering the bathroom I saw some guys in official clothes wandering around the toilet, cleaning and chatting. With a polite “Sawas dee, krab” and a smile on my face I passed them and made my way to the next best free toilet. I stood there facing the wall, relaxed and did what I had to do. All of a sudden I felt two hands grabbing my shoulders from behind and holding on firmly for a second. Then the hands start to gently massage my neck. I was paralysed. I didn’t know what was going on or what I should do about it. My pants were down revealing my best part and I was peeing like Niagara falls. Frankly, this is not the moment when you think about self defence. I turned my head around as far as I could and saw one of those official guys smiling and asking me if he is doing a good job. As I turned my head I saw other guests receiving the same kind of attention and noticed, that they actually enjoyed it. “Is it good, Mister?”- the guy on my back asked again- I burst into laughter, messing up the whole toilet. To sum it up, there are guys working in toilets, who massage your shoulders and your back, while you are peeing. Be prepared and stay calm, they do this for tips and not for your pleasure.


5 days in paradise, (Ko Phi Phi)

I spent some days in Phuket, when Annie called me to tell me that she want to visit me in Phuket on the same day. My plan was to go to Ko Phi Phi on the next day to meet some friends from volunteering in Nong Khai. One thing I really don’t like is to be surprised and a second thing is having my plans changed by someone else but me. Annie and me should meet again in Bangkok before I leave Thailand and after some month eventually meet up in New York, where she lives. Annie is half US, half Thai. Eventually we decided to meet on Ko Phi Phi. That was the starting point of those incredible nice days on that little Island, which I call 5 days in paradise. Annie and me spent a wonderful time there, renting a beach bungalow, going snorkelling, watching Thai Boxing and getting wasted with our friends at some beach party. I even took the chance to play a very mean trick on Annie, which I hardly dare to tell here. But I want to make it up to her so let me apologize in front of the whole internet world for doing such a mean thing. I AM SO SORRY. Here is what happened. Annie and me spent two days at a hostel in Ko Phi Phi town. One morning I woke up early- Annie was still asleep. I took a shower and prepared my backpack for the day. I was not particularly silent but she didn’t seem to wake up. As I was dressed I noticed that I had almost packed everything I had with me in my little backpack. I had left my big backpack in Phuket and used the daypack to go to Ko Phi Phi, so it was done within 5 minutes. Then I decided to take all my stuff and sneak out through the backdoor. I was on the balcony, where we used to dry our clothes. On a piece of paper I wrote the following message: “Hi honey, I’m sorry- see you in New York. Yours Michael” I put the message on her drying clothes and climbed to the opposite building, where I found some staircase to escape. It didn’t take long until I heard some noise on the balcony- I did a quick look- The message was gone. Now I had to move. I went up to the door of our room- and knocked three times. No answer. I knocked again- “Who is it?”- “Honey, it’s me- Michael.”- after a small pause she answered me in a very kind and polite way :-)
“Fuck you!!! Leave me alone!!! See you in New York- You a…..hole!....”. She was furious. Calling me names in English and Thai.

I’m sorry my dear! I’m sorry.













Good bye Thailand

I’m about to leave Thailand, so it is time to look back at a country that is so full of amazing stories, wonderful people and love. First of all I have to thank Walter Fuchs, who told me to go to Thailand. I remember that night at the Flaningens in Kitzbuehel, when I told Walter that I will travel around the world. He just said: “That is great- You must go to Thailand.”- I said: “Really? Do you think?” but he answered: “It’s not a question my friend- You MUST go to Thailand.” Today I know why!

Land of Smile
It is widely known that Thailand is the land of smile. But what that phrase actually means can only be discovered by spending time here. So I will not bother with describing that, but say as my friend said: “You must go to Thailand.”.

Land of Love
I discovered a lot in the last 3 weeks of my stay in Thailand. My time here will be over soon but I will take a big piece of love with me on my journey. Annie and me will meet again in New York, after I crossed the USA with my motorbike. Until then I’m wearing a necklace, with “Favourite-City New York” written on it. So that in case I loose my memory people know where to take me.

Land of cheesy Thai Pop
There is nothing like Thai Pop. It is full of feeling and cheesy like no other music. Turning on the radio in Europe brings the same kind of American pop to you as everywhere else. Turning on the radio in Thailand brings you a flood of heartache in a language you don’t understand and everyone in this country is able to sing along those Thai songs. Thai people really like their own music.

Land of devotion to the King
The other day we took a city bus in Bangkok. It was 5 o’clock, the traffic was terrible and it was hot like hells kitchen. I was sitting on the first seat of the bus- next to the driver. I fell asleep with my head leaning against my knee. I woke up because of a loud slapping sound. Then I felt my right leg burning and the silhouettes of five fingers appearing on it in red colour. Looking up I faced the ticket woman, who called me to order in Thai language. What had happened? I had fallen asleep with my right leg standing on a box. This position made my right foot point to front window, where there was a sticker of the King and his family. This is very offensive in Thailand as the feet are considered the dirtiest part of the human body. So never point with your feet at someone in Thailand or touch anything with your feet! The bus driver, the ticket lady and the first three rows in the bus were laughing their asses off- because of the farang, who didn’t know how to behave properly. Annie told me later that she noticed my misbehaviour before the ticket lady slapped my leg, but she did not warn me because: “I was curious what would happen.” Thank you for that lesson!

Since almost two month I don’t use a wallet, I don't have keys, I don’t have a mobile phone and I don’t wear shoes or socks- I never felt so good in my whole life!

Good bye Thailand- next destination ….?